Spock's Hot Date
by DDeety
Summary: Kirk andn Spock have a date, but will they get there on time....
1. Date Time Talk

Captain Kirk and Spock had a hot date  
  
Captain James T. Kirk swung his command chair round towards Spock's control post and asked "What time is it, Spock?"  
  
"13.26.45.2 Captain" replied Spock.  
  
Kirk smiled and said "umm, about 1:30PM"  
  
"Well actually it's 13.26.45.11 now ,..Captain"  
  
"Ok, ok, Spock, so what time shall we tell the girls that we will be round tonight"  
  
"Well according to my calculations, taking into account having a shower and all that, I estimate at precisely 23:11:03.4, Captain"  
  
"Umm, did you include the time needed to buy some flowers and pop into the chemists". Replied Kirk with a smile on his face.  
  
"Flowers Captain?, I though we were going round for a meal so I only included the extra time needed to prepare a bottle of quick brewing homemade wine."  
  
Kirk shook his head and said "Well, I always bring flowers, it helps to get them into the mood, so add that to your calculations Spock"  
  
"But, Captain, you cannot get emotionally involved, by the time we have eaten and washed the dishes it won't leave us much time to save the ship from being destroyed by some nasty aliens, there just isn't enough time for any hanky panky."  
  
"Listen Spock, if anyone needs to be saved from a nasty alien it's you, I saw them first so I am having first choice"  
  
Spock raised his eyebrow even more than usual, then he tapped a few buttons and looked down into his monitor, after a few seconds he raised his head, turned towards Kirk and said. "Oh, don't worry Captain, I have just tapped into the computer and the data shows that even with hanky panky you will be ready on time., a few minutes here or there won't make any difference"  
  
Kirk, thumped his fist hard on the armrest "I'll kill that Bones, I told him to erase that data from my medical records".  
  
"Oh.., it's not Doctor McCoy's fault Captain, I tapped into your last date's personal dairy and under the performance category she has you down as: No foreplay and very fast,….Then I tapped into your personal log"  
  
Captains Log, Stardate 13.13.13.19  
  
Due to an unfortunate premature event, which I must remember to see Bones about, I just managed to get back to the bridge in time to avoid a major alien invasion of the earth….  
  
"Two and Two makes Four hey Captain…." Said Spock  
  
"Ok Spock, you win, keep this thing to yourself and I'll let you have the Blue haired one".  
  
"In that case Captain, can I suggest changing route so that when Earth sends it's SOS message we can avoid being the closest ship in the area"  
  
Spock then carefully recalculated the estimated time of arrival and departure, this time taking into account the fact that he was with the blue haired one.  
  
"Captain, according to my new calculations we should arrive at their place just before midnight-ISH and leave sometime the next morning-ISH"….  
  
Kirk, couldn't believe his ears, this was the first time that Spock had given an vague answer in his life, what was going on?, who is this blue haired girl? Is the effect she is having on his first officer dangerous or is it just a Vulcan hormonal thing……  
  
Kirk, quickly left the room and went to see if Doctor McCoy could help.  
  
"Hello Jim, you look a bit worried, is it because of that date, I have some pills that can help if you want…."  
  
"No, no, Bones, I am worried about Mr. Spock, he is not acting himself, I am afraid that the next time we encounter a hostile alien ship his calculations may cause the destruction of the Enterprise"  
  
"Now Jim, calm down, I know this date has been on your mind but as I said, these new pills work wonders"  
  
"I am serious Bones, I am really worried about Spock, it's that girls fault, you know, that cute blue haired one"  
  
"Oh, yes, I visited her the other day, a very interesting subject, apparently her ancestors were Vulcan's but various mixed marriages have eroded all of the Vulcan physical characteristics, the scanner showed that she has the genes of at least seven different know species and a couple of unknown ones, which I am still working on"  
  
"So you think Spock's interest may be of a scientific nature?"  
  
"Well, not exactly Jim, I believe that the Vulcan genes in her, mixed with a cocktail of other more emotional and exotic genes are causing a certain reaction in Mr Spock, think of it as a sort of forty-something teenage love syndrome, add to that a great body and long blue hair and .. hey, he's only half human you know!!".  
  
"Thank's Bones, I feel better now, Well I suppose I better be getting ready for our double date, Bye"  
  
"Oh, Jim, before you go, I visited her friend as well, can't go into details, medical oath, etc , nothing serious, but be careful tonight,…" McCoy, looked at the packet of pills he had in his hand, turned round, placed them on the counter, opened a draw, pulled out a new packet of pills, placed them into Kirk's hand and said "here, Jim, take a few of these on a full stomach and forget I said anything"  
  
Kirk, left the room, head down, looking a little dazed, his eye's staring at the packet of purple and green pills in his hand.  
  
Back on the Bridge, Spock was humming a Beatle's song "Yesterday". The elevator doors opened and Kirk walked out, looked at Spock and shook his head.  
  
Spock stopped humming and said "Captain, I have just been doing some musical research in the ships database and have come to the conclusion that The Beatles early hits could go well with the desert"  
  
"I prefer something more modern, like The Tribble's, besides I though that we were going to the Hologram Complex after dinner, I hear that the new Clark Gable simulation software has won 7 virtual Oscars"  
  
"Oh I prefer not to Captain, I never seem to get on very well with non Vulcan girls there, last time, I sat in the back row with a girl, I slowly let my arm slip onto the back of her chair, I then moved it towards her, she cuddled into me, I put my arm around her, I then pinched her lovingly on the shoulder with my hand and all of a sudden she passed out.."  
  
"Ok, Spock, so what do you suggest we do after dinner and don't say play it by ear!"  
  
Suddenly Scotty appeared on the Bridge and Jim Said "Mr Scott how many times have I told you to use the elevator like everyone else, the internal transponder is only for emergencies"  
  
"Sorry Captain, won't happen again, but Doctor McCoy asked me to test it in case you needed to use it tonight for a quick getaway, Anyhow, I'll look after the Bridge now, you and Spock go and enjoy yourselves with those lasses,….oh Spock, here's a bottle of real Scotch Whiskey, I hear the blue haired lass has relatives near Glasgow "  
  
Spock and Jim left to get ready for their date.  
  
Chapter Two – The Date 


	2. The Date

Chapter Two - The Double Date   
  
Spock knocks on Kirks door. "Are you ready Captain?"  
  
"Out in a minute Spock, but do us a favour don't call me Captain, call me Jim, I am off duty now and I would like to forget about work for a while"  
  
"Ok, Captain, I will wait here for the next… 45.6 seconds"  
  
The door opens and Kirk, dressed in jeans and a I love Free Space tee-shirt walks towards Spock and says "See you made an effort and put on tomorrows clean uniform"  
  
The two walk off down the corridor. A few minutes later they arrive outside the girls room and Kirk knocks on the door three times. The door opens, the girls are already sitting at the table, they rise and invite Spock and Kirk to join them.  
  
"Hello, Captain, Hello Mr Spock, My name is Papricatronitravulcraniuosa Smith but my friends call me Bluey for short" said the blue haired girl.  
  
"Hello, Captain, Hello Mr Spock, I am Electra Matinuvus Jones, but you can call me Sparkle"  
  
Kirk did a couple of nice to meet you's and how are you phrases, Spock gave the Vulcan finger salute and then the two officers sat at the table.  
  
Spark opened the conversation with a classic "Not normal to see a girl with blue hair in this sector of the universe"  
  
"Well actually the colour of my hair depends on the ships position in space, a few months ago when we were in the Apha-5 quadrant it was green"  
  
"Oh, I remember you now, you were that purple haired girl I met at the last Christmas Party, I wondered where she had got to" said Kirk with a bemused look on his face.  
  
Spock moved towards her, plucked out a hair from her head, pulled out an organic analyser from his belt, did a couple of quick calculations and said. "I think we will be calling you Orangina in a few hours"  
  
"Oh, dear, I hate being Orange, and it's going to spoil our date, you see, I suffer from geographical hormonal syndrome, caused by the cocktail of genes in my body, My Vulcan hormones are very active at the moment, couldn't you order the Ship to go round in circles for a few hours, Captain"…  
  
Spock's eyes lit up, he tapped in some more data into the analyser, took a quick peep out of the window and then called the Bridge and asked Scottie to input the new coordinates into the navigation computer. He then bent over and whispered into Kirks ear, "If my calculations are correct her hair should reach the apex of blue just after coffee"  
  
Kirk looked towards Sparkle and asked "How about you Sparkle, I hope you like humans, are you human, you look human, but …."  
  
"I am not human, but I am humanoid, and nobodies complained so far" she replied fluttering her long dark eyelashes..  
  
"Oh, so from what planet are you from, then"   
  
"I was born on earth and went to a girl's school in surrey but my parents are from MatraGlass, a planet very similar to Earth, I am exactly like a human except for one thing, but I don't like to talk about it on a first date".  
  
Anyhow, the meal went wonderfully, the food was great, even Spock's wine was appreciated although Bluey preferred Mr Scott's highland whiskey.  
  
After the meal Spock and Kirk went off to the kitchen to do the washing up. "You wash and I'll dry, hey Captain"  
  
"Don't be silly Spock, lets just use the atomic dishwasher and get out of here before Sparkle feels obliged to show me what the difference is between her and humans"  
  
At that point Sparkle walks into the kitchen and says "Hey boys, would you two like to go for a walk, I hear the hologram room is free at the moment…."  
  
Before Kirk could think of an excuse, Spock had whisked Bluey out of the door and was halfway down the corridor leading to the hologram room.  
  
"Just leaves you and me then, hey, Captain Baby"  
  
"Oh, yes, so it does"  
  
"I feel all tired at the moment, I think I will change my mind and stay in after all, why don't you join me on the sofa, Captain…., I bet your just bursting to find out all about me…"  
  
Kirk tried his best to convince her that the world or even the universe may need him at any moment but in the end he was forced to sit on the sofa next to Sparkle. They chatted for a while about the weather and Kirk told her about the worlds he had visited and the aliens that he had met.  
  
"Oh, said Sparkle, I bet you haven't met any like me before hey…" She slowly lifted up her blouse, to reveal her belly button and pointed to what seemed like a badly drawn tattoo"  
  
"Oh, that's very nice, were you in the Navy then"  
  
"It's not a tattoo, silly, look closer"  
  
Kirk moved his head closer, he could see small flashing lights twinkling. Sparkle clapped her hands and the lights started to get bigger and brighter, all of a sudden Kirk was in a trance.   
  
The door opened and Spock walked in looking a little flustered. "Captain, the federation has communicated alien ships about to attack the earth and even though we are light-years away, we are still the closest ship to them"  
  
The Captain didn't answer, and so Spock slapped him a few times across the face and quickly pulled down Sparkle's blouse to conceal her twinkling belly button and before she could say anything he gave her a shoulder pinch and dimmed her lights.  
  
"Sorry Spock, what did you say"  
  
"We got to save the Earth again, Captain"   
  
"Oh, ok, lets go, by he way how did it go with bluey"  
  
"Well, everything was going great, her hair had turned so blue it was nearly pornographic but then I got carried away, squeezed her shoulder and she passed out on me"  
  
Suddenly the ship rocked from side to side, all the lights started to flash, the warp drive made a slow wining noise and after a few more seconds the ship came to a complete stop and all the lights went out.  
  
Next Chapter – How Bluey's geographical hair and Sparkles fairy lights help save the day. 


End file.
